squid flavored pea (sweetpeatn) wrote in diverse_mommies,
squid flavored pea

How do you go about going from being a bad parent to being a good parent?
I love my kids. I am in love with my kids. I adore them. My life is not complete without them. My son lives with me, my girls are in Tennessee. In my icon picture they are from left to right The Doodlebug 14 years old, Punkin 20 years old, and Buddy 17 years old. Punkin has lived with my parents since she was 7 years old. The Doodlebug and Buddy went to Tennessee last July (2006) while I was incarcerated. Buddy came back to live with me in August. The Doodlebug wants to stay to go to high school there.

My problem is I can not discipline my children. I have never really been able to. It hurts my feelings a lot. That doesn't mean I don't. And most people who know my children will agree they are great kids. They are well mannered, make decent grades, I wish they were better but I can't complain too much. The flip side to this is, there are some issues that I am very very strict on. They know these rules and they do not break them often, and when they do, it's pretty severe consequences.

They know if they get caught drinking or doing drugs, that I will bring the unholy wrath of one Mad ass Mother down on them. Our relationships are pretty good. My girls come to me with all their problems (most of the time) Punkin calls me when she's had too much too drink, even though she is a sophomore in college and almost legal and lives over 1000 miles away. She knows the following morning I am going to call her and loudly discuss the situation with her, but at that moment she knows that Mama is going to call someone else that is close by to come get her and she will be safe for the night. (This has happened 3 times). The last time I threatened to put her in rehab and not cover for her butt if if it happened again. As far as I know it hasn't, and I do have my friends, 2 of whom are cops, keeping an eye out for her.

Buddy is every bit the gentleman, he pulls my seat out for me, helps me with my coat, opens doors for me etc...

The rules I seem to have the hardest problems enforcing are, curfews. "You aren't in bed yet? Oh well as long as you get up for school tomorrow." "You didn't do your chores? Oh that's okay I'll do them for you." "You didn't do your homework? Oh well, get it done next time and by the way no television or computer for the next 24-48 hours"

Not good parenting skills there. Is it too late for me to learn?
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